


desolation comes upon the sky

by itsallanoxymoron



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Regina Gives Up Henry, F/M, Not Canon Compliant, Peter and Wendy raise Henry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 14:03:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5629150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsallanoxymoron/pseuds/itsallanoxymoron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“He'll age differently than he would in that land. But I can be patient—I can wait for him to grow.” </p>
<p>Regina let her would-be son go, and he's Pan's now.</p>
<p>(He'll need a mother to nurture him, and that will be you. And he'll need something to believe in—and that will be me.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	desolation comes upon the sky

**Author's Note:**

> wow so i wrote this before the conclusion of 3a (the peter pan plotline) and it took me so long to write tbh but here it is, finally
> 
> (i think i scrapped the whole peter pan is rumple's father thing, but it can still count here)

The Shadow doesn't drop it—which is odd, but then again this is a package much less durable than a child—in fact, it _sets_  it right on Wendy's doorstep. She doesn't notice it right away, but after an hour or so she starts to hear _crying_ , which is near impossible. Lost Boys rarely ever cried, although they did come to her for solace, because she is Mother and Peter dare not threaten a wolf's pup. 

The baby is swathed in a blanket that denotes him _Henry_. She picks him up and rocks him, as she has once seen her mother do with her brothers.

“Peter!” screams Wendy even though she could murmur and the wicked king would come, because the baby— _Henry_ —is already crying, and she is so furious. Is he tempting her? Tricking her? Is she to be a proper mother now?

Why would he bring a _baby_  to Neverland?

“Ah, so it's arrived then,” he says from the entrance. “How kind of you to call for me, Darling.”

“What,” demands Wendy Darling, with all the ferocity she can muster, “is the meaning of this?”

_What? Are you giving me false hope that you could ever be anything but a demon-boy? Do you want me to raise him? For what purpose? What want have you for a_ baby _?_

“I told you once,” murmurs the Pan quietly, “that from you I will keep no secrets.” He moves to her shabby couch and sits, the same movement that he has done a thousand times, only he seems more tense than usual. He is, in this moment, burdened and not-burdened by all the things he has done, does, will do. Wendy can see it—in the curve of his back, the shaking of his hands, the way he looks at a fixed point on the floor instead of at her. “Do you remember?”

“Of course,” she says, “how ever could I forget?”

That was when she was younger and timid, when she was less than she is now, when she had only first began to don her wolfskin. During the day, the Pan had teased her mercilessly, which was not strange, but then, later at night, he almost fed her to the mermaids. Wendy was enraged, spitting curses as well as throwing punches. This, in turn, made Peter red with fury and he grabbed her wrists.

“No!” he had snarled at her. “You will _not_  demand anything from me, Little Bird! I will tease you and play games with you and do what I like because I am _the Pan_  and you are not _my_ mother! You are just a girl—but since you are a demure and simple creature, I will grant you this: from you, Wendy Moira Angela Darling, I shall keep no secrets. You may think me cruel and selfish and capricious—and I am, and I shall be, always, as is my nature—but you will not know me a liar.”

Wendy could not protest to this, and she stayed silent.

He moved his face near hers, so close that she could feel his hot breath. “But this is not without price. I will play games with you, I will do my best to drive you mad, and I will not be anything less than myself for you. Know that some days I will bring you pretty things, and grant you wishes, but some days I will try to feed you to the mermaids—and you will not know which days will be which. I shall not lie, and therefore you shall see me at my basest and you shall hate me. But know that you asked for this, and I have granted it.” He rested his forehead against hers, so like a lover that it made her sick.

“And now, Darling Bird, I want you to _run_.”

And as Wendy fled from the Pan, she realized what troubled her so about his monologue; she had never told him her full name. She had never even breathed it while on the island.

Henry's crying brought her back to reality. He really _was_ a demanding baby, but Wendy felt sympathy for him.  _If Pan intends to keep him_ , Wendy thinks,  _he shall never have a proper mother or family again_.

“Oh, won't you keep it quiet?”

“ _It_ ,” snaps Wendy, all mother-wolf, “has a name, and it is Henry.”

“Yes, well,” says the Pan, and then he tells her of his plan, because _it doesn't matter if it cries now because it will die later_. _I do not care for its suffering, because this thing was born of misery_. “So do you see, Wendy Darling? He'll need a mother to nurture him, and that will be you—don't you dare protest, I was not _asking—_ and he'll need something to believe in, and that will be me.”

“That's cruel,” Wendy cries. “That's inhumane. It's _wrong_.”

“Have I ever done anything that you consider _moral_?” he snaps at her. “For you I am base because from you I hold no secrets. Now you will raise this boy—for quite a while, I should think, he will grow very slowly here—and I will kill him, and that is how this story goes.”

And then the Pan rises and walks right out the door.

.

Henry is a relatively easy baby to take care of.

Not that Wendy would know any different, of course. She's never had children. But her mother has and Wendy has taken care of her brothers and it isn't _that_ different, not necessarily. Peter brings bottles of milk daily, whenever the baby desires it, which is often. There is a makeshift crib in the corner of her shabby house that some of the Lost Boys made.

They didn't take to Henry well; the Lost Boys thought he was taking their mother's attention away. “Now, hush children,” chided Wendy in an attempt to calm them, “I love you all equally. Henry is your new brother, but he's too young for you to be roughhousing. Oh, Felix, won't you get the younger ones out?” She speaks to Felix with respect, because he is, for the most part, her confidant and her friend, and he is too old to be her child. The rest, though, are _her_  children.

Wendy doesn't yet understand the aging process of Neverland; it is different for everyone. It seems that every ten years equates to only less than a quarter of a year's worth of wear on her body. After only two years of knowing him, Wendy realizes that she loves Henry something terrible, something ferocious, something precious. She loves him like he is hers. And she cannot—not when she knows his fate.

While Wendy Darling plays surrogate mother, the Pan is unmoved. He will not love this boy; there is little room in his heart as is. No, the bird may provide all the love in this relationship. He will be the mind, the backbone, the striking hand—but he will not be the heart.

“Why don't you just kill him now?” screams Wendy one day, tears in her eyes. “Why must you make me _love_ him?!”

“Don't you think that if I could kill him, I would have done it by now?” the Pan roars. “Do you think I would not have wished to spare you pain? No, I need a strong heart, I need belief—and a baby cannot give me that!”

Then Henry starts to cry and they both jump, startled, and that's the end of _that_ conversation.

.

He grows. With time, Henry would-be-Swan-would-be-Mills grows.

He grows and he calls Wendy _Mother_  and Peter _Papa_ and _Father_ , because that is what he is taught. He grows and becomes a Lost Boy and they become his brothers. 

He grows and he does not read a book of fairytales that appears to him from a schoolteacher who was a queen in another land. He grows and does not learn sword fighting from his grandfather; his weapon of choice is a bow. He grows and lives in trees, in a makeshift cottage, but not a big house that belongs to a mayor. He grows and does not have two mothers and a father who appears into the picture later than he would have liked.

No, he grows with Neverland in his marrow.

He grows with Neverland magic in his veins. He grows hunting mermaids and taunting pirates and trying not to upset _Father_. He grows under Wendy's care, who loves him but cannot protect him. He grows and becomes wild, becomes savage, becomes everything a Lost Boy is and worse, worse still because he has a heart that the Pan wants and he was raised by the island's king and queen.

He grows and his mother cries. He grows and he learns of what he must do for Papa. He grows and learns that he was born to save his father and, in turn, the island. He grows and finds that Peter Pan and Neverland are tied, and to save one is to rescue the other. He grows and wants to be a _hero_ , wants to help Father—even at the cost of his own life.

He grows.

.

Henry is the only child who will listen to her without question or complaint.

Sometimes the other Lost Boys do this as well, but it isn't often. They seem to have forgotten that they ever begged her to be their mother. They have forgotten what it is like to respect an adult, and Wendy must reteach them constantly. It's exhausting work, but there isn't an alternative.

Henry knows nothing of the outside world, as well, and Wendy Darling will not speak of it when he is near. She does not want him to wonder, to wish. Wishing brings nothing good in Neverland. He asks her questions, is very inquisitive, and she is almost glad for raising such a smart thing.

Except when he asks her about Peter Pan.

“How did you meet Father?” he'll ask, even though he knows the story, has heard it a thousand times, because sometimes he just _wonders_.

The answer is always the same: “He—his _shadow_ —found me in another land, a different land, and he told me of a wonderous place. Somewhere I could never grow old: a land of magic, of happiness, of mermaids and pixies and a king in need of a queen. So I came. And then Peter found me, for I was near where pirates were lurking, and he saved me.”

And Henry will reply, “You're a lovely storyteller, Mother,” for that's all it is: a story.

.

Wendy knows that he tries to deny it.

The Pan has started to love Henry. He loves in the only way he knows how: with anger, with frustration, with ice in his black, black heart.

(She knows because she has been the subject of it, of his twisted affections. She knows how he translates adoration into cruelty. He was never a kind thing, the Pan. No, no. He is ruthless even in love, and she knows this because she knows the Pan's heart better, at times, than he does himself.)

Peter is beginning to love their son, and Wendy wishes she were afraid for him. She is not. Love will not change the Pan's mind, therefore Henry is safe. Safe from Peter's twisted games, the ones that he makes Wendy play when he is bored. Safe from cuts and bruises and near-death experiences. Yes, Henry is safe.

Safe to die.

.

The mermaids do not think to touch Henry.

They did try, once, to sing and make a meal of him—but Pan knows all the going-ons of his island, and he knew of the mermaids' frenzied lust for food. He was furious, of course. 

“Any other of my boys,” he screamed at them. “But not him.”

(Wendy would prefer if no one died at all; but mermaids cannot choose to be nourished only by meat, and her boys cannot choose to be drawn to them.)

They frowned, but listened. These mermaids were simply guests of Neverland, and so they must respect its' king. (They follow Wendy's orders, too, for she is queen in all but name.)

Peter killed one of them, anyways, to make sure the lesson stuck.

Now, they do not seduce Wendy's son into drowning in the water. In fact, they do not go near them at all. Nothing dares to harm the Pan's savior or his queen.

.

Henry is a brave boy.

He is selfless in ways Wendy does not understand, because it is a trait neither his substitute mother nor father had taught him. He is the product of true love twice over. He has the heart of the truest believer. And he is willing to sacrifice himself to save Never Neverland. "My darling boy," she tells him, "I am ever so proud of you," even though he is not her true son, even though he is stupid enough and benevolent enough to give his life up for people who do not deserve it.

"Thank you, Mother," Henry replies, because he does not realize what Wendy is truly announcing.

  
_I love you_ , she means to say.  _I will weep for the life you could have had, when you are gone. I am sorry that you were the one that Peter chose. You deserve more than this; you deserved the type of noble sacrifice that heroes in the stories always get. I love you. I am sorry. Peter loves you, too, in his own way. Perhaps one day he will realize the mistake he will have made. I cannot change his mind. I am sorry._

.

The time that passes before Henry's murder—Wendy refuses to call it anything else, at least when Henry isn't around, and she always glares at Peter because he could change things, he could, but he won't, and calling it simply  _Henry's death_ or some other term wouldn't do the boy justice—is quick, and fleeting. The Pan is less cruel in the days leading up to it; Wendy and Henry have splendid days together.

He mentioned his death only once.

"Will it hurt, Mother, do you think?" he had asked, seemingly out of nowhere. There was no tremor to his voice, no quiver.

"I don't know."

And Wendy put her hand on his, and smiled at him, and it was the best that she could offer him.

.

Henry dies.

(Somewhere, in a different world, the savior and the evil queen  _cry_.)

Henry dies and Peter Pan is reborn.

(Somewhere, on Never Neverland, Wendy Darling  _cries_.)

**Author's Note:**

> so the idea was that regina actually did give up henry for adoption to the darling brothers, and peter pan raised the boy on neverland. also, i wanted an excuse to write peter/wendy being somewhat domestic, and here was the perfect opportunity.


End file.
